INTIMACY
& SEXUALITY
Audio
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Sex mad
(2008) essay by Adam Phillips. Invites us to consider how an excess of sexual desire might lead us to feel mad about sex. Moreover, that this 'excess, makes us judge things before we find out what they are.' Rendering their psychological meaning inaccessible to our, and other peoples, minds.
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Lust
(2023) Ripley, B., & Ward, S. Seven Deadly Psychologies, (BBC Radio 4.) Inspiration about how best we can live alongside our drives and desires. CLICK HERE
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The last taboo
(2022) BBC Radio 4. Sibling sexual abuse could be the most common form of sexual abuse in families. Paradoxically it also appears to have been systematically ignored. Leaving victims sometimes with a false sense of responsibility to 'keep the family together.' CLICK HERE
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APPS
(2020) Article detailing three apps which aim to help with problems of intimacy and sexuality.
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VIDEO
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A song about a penis
(2024). Humorous riff on the role of the phallus. n.b. adult content. CLICK HERE
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Baby reindeer
(2024) by Richard Gadd. Netflix dramatisation of an individuals experience of stalking, sexual violence, rape, comedy, transphobia and traumatisation. Complex, triggering and visceral. 'The first advice is: break the silence. Talk to someone, and if that’s too scary, just write it down, process it into something. Because I think the more you get it out, the smaller it becomes.' CLICK HERE
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Living with frustration
(2023) blog by Andrew Perry. This blog describes a psychological journey of living with frustration. The journey from masochism, sadistic sexual fantasy, voyeurism to mutual relationships. CLICK HERE
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Promising young woman
(2020) film by Emerald Fennell. Unflinching journey into some of the sexually abusive experiences of women. Bystanders and all. Free trailer. CLICK HERE
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Confessions of a sex addict
(2012) Can a self-confessed sex addict reform his ways—by consulting his exes? CLICK HERE
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Planet sex
(2022) BBC series by Cara Delevingne. Gently paced and thoughtful series covering many aspects of human sexuality. Refreshingly down to earth and clear. 'We don't talk enough about how we can help each other. So let's talk about it.' CLICK HERE
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The secret to desire in a long term relationship
(2013) by Ester Perel. How can we continue wanting what we already have? 'Reconciling our need for security and our need for adventure into one relationship. Relying on our ability to stay connected to ourselves in the presence of another. CLICK HERE
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(2019) by Ben Zand. BBC programme delineating the law around sexual harassment using enacted workplace scenarios i.e. any kind of unwanted behaviour, of a sexual nature, that makes you feel humiliated or intimidated, or that creates a hostile environment. CLICK HERE
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(2022) website with numerous videos and information by Police Scotland. Suggests people we can make a real difference to reducing sexual entitlement by stopping contributing to a culture that targets, minimises, demeans and brutalises others. CLICK HERE
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(2015) by Thames valley police. Wonderfully simple animation to understand consent​ in intimate relationships​. CLICK HERE
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(2020) a series of videos by Betty Martin. Learn to distinguish between the roles of allowing, accepting, taking and serving in touch. CLICK HERE
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10 things you didn't know about orgasm
(2009) ted talk by Mary Roach. Fun and educational talk about healthy sexual functioning (warning contains adult themes.) ​​CLICK HERE
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(2015) by Sasha Neulinger. Moving video description of one person coming to terms with being sexually abused as a child. CLICK HERE
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(2020) Watch how over fifty different couples negotiate the end of real intimate relationships. Compelling and life affirming. CLICK HERE
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(2015) by Monica Lewinsky. Describes how we can endure shame associated with our sexuality and recover. CLICK HERE
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(1986) by Victoria Wood. Joyful celebration of the complexities of healthy adult sexuality. CLICK HERE
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(1997) by Victoria Wood. Humorous vocal account of being asexual in a sexual world. CLICK HERE
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Shirley Valentine
(1989) 'An extraordinary woman trapped in an ordinary life,' joyful trailer for this wonderful film of self discovery. CLICK HERE
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Written
At 12 she was abused by a friend’s father. Police told her parents she was asleep so there was no need to let her know. The problem? They were wrong …
(2024) article by Arielle Domb. Suggests 'victims have a right to know’ ; 'Without disclosure unknowing victims of sexual abuse risk being isolated in a lonely, liminal state of partial knowledge, deprived of victim compensation or adequate psychological support built from a full picture of their histories and mental health.'CLICK HERE
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Roger's Profanisaurus
(2018) A lexicon of profane words and expressions. Provides graded exposure for the phobic avoidance of the less polite parts of life. A 'magna farta.' Glorious. CLICK HERE
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A moment that changed me: I discovered my mother was a sex worker
(2024) by Katy Massey 'And there were always secrets. Yet, at the end the secrets were always revealed..' CLICK HERE
(2022) by Andrew Perry. This short article describes four ways people may make mistakes in matters of intimacy and sexuality. Providing clues as to how they might be avoided. CLICK HERE
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Is my wife's masturbation killing our sex life?
(2020) article by Pamela Stephenson Connolly. Helpfully distinguishing personal intimacy from shared intimacy. CLICK HERE
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(2020) short story by Alan Bennett. A moving tale of an incestuous mother and son relationship.