This blog describes a developmental journey. One of living with frustration. Accumulating the coping strategies of masochism, sadism, sexual fantasy, voyeurism and mutual relationships. Inspired by psychoanalytic thinkers (Phillips, 2013, Benjamin, 2017 & Erikson 2022.) A developmental journey that begins in our infant experience.

Erotic idealisations are inevitable in therapeutic practice. Erotic idealisations can be both helpful and unhelpful. Good enough psychological therapy involves these sorts of interactions. The professional boundaries of psychological therapy encourage these sort of interactions.

It describes four possibilities, for making two mistakes, in sex. Providing ways as to how they might be avoided. The two mistakes are considering other people too little and sabotaging our wider goals. Mistakes that have traditionally been set apart. t disregards everyone's capacity to make these mistakes. Making those mistakes more likely to happen. As if the mistakes could not be understood and thus minimised. This blog is my contribution towards ending that oversight.