Holding open

When a small bird sits on your hand, holding open means the bird can be fully experienced.

The probable realities of life

The existential realities of life are suggested to be death, vulnerability, isolation, responsibility, helplessness and meaninglessness. Moreover facticity, the set of circumstances we cannot change such as where and when we were born, our biological traits, and our historical context. Intersubjectivity, that our reality is constantly co-shaped by how we relate to other people, society, and culture. Finally temporality, that we live simultaneously in the past, present, and future, where our choices constantly redefine who we were and who we will become.

'The most important philosophical question is : What does it mean to live a finite, fragile life in an infinite universe.' - Professor Brian Cox

If accepted, these experiences present humans with a particular challenge in psychological thriving. Requiring a psychological stance which can assimilate, and accommodate, these existential realities.

Holding open instead of holding on or letting go

Holding open is a state of mind. A non possessive love of life. So instead of simply holding on ( attachment ) or letting go ( detachment. ) It involves holding life lightly.

Holding on : When we love a person, a job, or a moment, the awareness of its transience can panic us. Possession breeds anxiety because we are constantly defending against its loss. We can try to grasp it tightly to ensure it never leaves. Holding open releases the pressure to control. You accept our facticity ( the situation we cannot change ) and temporality ( that the moment will pass. ) The anxiety evaporates because we stop fighting reality; we let the bird sit freely on our open palm. When we try to possess life, a person, or a moment, we squeeze too hard. Like a small bird, if you close our fist to keep it, we crush the thing we love.

Letting go : To escape the pain of a potential loss, a common psychological defense is to check out entirely. We may tell ourselves,"Nothing matters, so I won't care." This stops the pain but results in an absence of feeling. Creating a gray and muted world. Holding open refuses to let you go numb. Instead of dropping the bird entirely, you keep your hand extended. You practice radical hospitality, treating the fleeting moment as a treasured guest. This brings back the vibrant colors of human experience without the terrifying threat of possession and its potential loss.

The methodology of holding open

So we can allow the small bird to sit on our hand. Hosting, celebrating and amplifying the experience whilst it lasts. Holding lightly means the bird is entirely free to fly away at any second, yet it chooses to sit there right now. Existentialism reminds us that change and impermanence are the only guarantees. By holding lightly, we align ourselves with reality rather than fighting it. We become a conduit for life to flow through, rather than trying to hold it back.

Hosting : We can treat experiences and people as temporary guests in our life. We provide a warm space for them, but do not lock the doors. We love deeply and intimately, but we do not treat our partner as property. We celebrate their presence today precisely because they are a free agent who chooses to stay.

Celebrating : Because we accept that the moment is fleeting, its value skyrockets. We appreciate the bird's song precisely because it won't last forever. We pour our energy into our projects (self-efficacy), but we do not tie our entire identity to a specific, permanent outcome. If the industry changes or a project ends, we tolerate the ambiguity and pivot creatively.

Amplifying : When we drop the anxiety of trying to control the future, our mental energy is freed up. We can focus in the now, making the colors brighter and the connection deeper. Holding open drops the defense mechanisms. So instead of trying to rewrite history or being trapped by our background, we hold our past lightly. We can look at it truthfully without shame, allowing it to inform our present choices rather than dictate them.

In sum, holding open is to treat existence as a great adventure: we don't scream, trying to freeze a good scene; we simply lean in, pay attention, and let the beauty fill our heart.