Sharing the experience of coffee

Moments of happiness

Creating moments of happiness in life is not always easy. Yet they are incredibly important. Small, seemingly unremarkable moments of enjoyment can make our good days better and - perhaps even more importantly - make our lowest days bearable. Daily habits, hobbies, and rituals ground us in the ongoing thread of our lives, wherever it may lead. Furthermore, they connect us to people with whom we can share our experiences.

For me, one of those small joys, that quite literally bring flavour to my life, happens to be coffee. In fact, I am sitting in one of my favourite coffee shops right now, enjoying a delightful oat cortado. In some ways, it could not be simpler: just a young man writing on his laptop in a café. However, for me, that coffee is packed with meaning.

It has been a difficult week, and I have been looking forward to my Saturday morning reward for getting through it without a major disaster. As always, the coffee tastes amazing (notes of red berries and dark chocolate, for my fellow coffee lovers.) However, taste is not the only rewarding part of my Saturday café ritual. As a psychologist, I feel compelled to analyse and appreciate the role coffee plays in my life. Needless to say, it goes far beyond enjoying a particular flavour profile or getting a caffeine hit.

A coffee hobby

As many hobbies do, my coffee 'obsession' serves multiple functions. I sometimes jokingly say that coffee now constitutes at least 50% of my identity. While I do hope people see me as more than just 'a coffee nerd.' I will admit that - perhaps due to some of my neurodivergent tendencies - I truly enjoy being deeply immersed in the rabbit hole of home barista culture. There are always new techniques to experiment with. Offering the pleasure of discovering a wide range of flavour profiles. Some make for a comforting everyday brew; others expand my understanding of what coffee can taste like; and some serve as a bitter reminder that I still have much to learn.

These new experiences are not limited to my kitchen. As is the case for many coffee lovers, my initial justification for purchasing an espresso machine was to save money. While one could argue that I now spend less - if any - money on bad coffee. I found something unexpected. As my ability to make good coffee at home improved. I became more drawn to speciality coffee shops. Of course, this is partly due to the higher quality that is not always easily achieved at home (though it is certainly possible with patience and practice.) More importantly, however, independent speciality cafés and roasters often function as true community hubs, especially for coffee lovers. Beyond serving as excellent 'third spaces' for work, study, and relaxation, they almost always offer opportunities to strike up conversations with fellow coffee enthusiasts.

Shared experience

This leads me to, what I see as, one of the most meaningful mental health benefits of my coffee hobby : shared experience. It is not only about the experience of coffee itself, but about the connection that grows from sharing that experience with others. In fact, research suggests that the phenomenon of coffee culture offers a particular set of factors - such as ritual, connection, meaning, and mindfulness. That are particularly beneficial to our mental health and well-being (Dajero et al., 2025 & Manzo, 2014.) Whether I am brewing (hopefully) a delicious cup for a friend or family member, visiting local cafés, chatting with baristas and regulars, or exploring coffee cultures in other cities and countries while travelling. These shared moments create memories that connect me to others who appreciate coffee as much as I do.

Of course, not everyone shares my love for coffee - and that is fine. For many, it is just a necessary part of waking up, and for some, not even that. Not every social interaction needs to include an enthusiastic lecture on the tasting notes of the latest beans I purchased from a particularly sophisticated roaster. As my boyfriend told me on our second date : 'It’s just coffee.' However, wonderful things can happen when we offer to share our passions with other people.

Surprisingly, two and a half years later, my boyfriend and I are still together. Slowly but surely, I am turning him into a casual coffee enthusiast. He still cannot brew a decent cortado to save his life. However, his appreciation for taste has grown immensely. He is now more than happy to join me in exploring the vast world of coffee wherever we go. Looking back, I realise that Daniel’s early interest in speciality coffee began largely as a way to show me affection. Today, it is an experience we genuinely enjoy and share on a daily basis. We have created many wonderful memories around something so common and seemingly mundane.

Ritual pleasure

As much as I enjoy the craft and taste of coffee. I have to concede that the memories, shared experiences, and sense of connection it brings to my life are not unique to being a coffee lover. Whether one’s interests lie in experimenting with (admittedly) over complicated coffee brewing methods, watching trains, running, theatre, films or any of the countless passions we may pursue. The ability to be charmed - or even enchanted - by relatively simple things can have a meaningful impact on our well-being. Looking at relevant research, we can see that engaging in hobbies is associated with greater happiness, life satisfaction, and a stronger sense of purpose, particularly when these activities offer enjoyment, structure, and opportunities for connection (Godman, 2024.) Small passions, like my coffee obsession, therefore allow us to bring together two of the most essential aspects of human existence: experiencing life and sharing those experiences with others.

Most of my life does not feel particularly remarkable or extraordinary. I do not spend my days saving the world, or battling dark wizards, like many of my fictional heroes. Instead, my daily life involves a great deal of repetition, which can sometimes leave me feeling numb and exhausted. Yet even after a long, grey day, I almost always find beauty in preparing a delicious decaf for a relaxing evening - or even in cleaning my Italian coffee grinder (and I really don’t like cleaning.) These little rituals may not be as essential for survival as eating, sleeping, or working. But they can bring so much colour and connection into our lives. Of course, I still hope that my life will lead to extraordinary adventures. But above all, I hope I will always be able to find beauty in something as simple as sharing a coffee with another human being.

References

Dajero, B. K. C., Dag-um, I. J. P., Flores, D. J. A., & Barete, M. G. (2025). Coffee culture and mental health: A qualitative exploration of perceptions and experiences of coffee enthusiasts. Asia Pacific Journal of Educational Technologies, Psychology, and Social Sciences.

Godman, H. (2024, January 1). Having a hobby tied to happiness and well-being. Harvard Health Publishing. Reviewed by A. L. Komaroff, MD.

Manzo, L. C. (2014). Coffee, connoisseurship, and the experience of place. Geographical Review.

Note of clarification: In this essay, I’m speaking about the social experience of coffee and coffee culture rather than the biology of caffeine. For anyone who finds caffeine anxiety-inducing, overwhelming, or otherwise unhelpful, there are many delicious decaf options.