Happiness : A goal to achieve or a lifelong companion?

Fireworks explode providing flashes of shared happiness.

Happiness can feel like a destination, a prize to win. But is happiness actually a goal to reach or a lifelong companion? I suggest answering this question, requires looking beyond definitions, exploring cultural meanings and psychological underpinnings. As such, this blog unpacks happiness and suggests additional relationships with this emotion.

The Many Faces of Happiness

Happiness is not a single, universal experience. The experience of happiness varies between individuals. Some experience happiness as a fleeting emotion, a moment of joy or pleasure. Others experience it as a deeper, more enduring, state connected to life's meaning and purpose. So no single definition captures what happiness means for everyone.

• Emotional happiness : feelings like joy, contentment, or satisfaction. Often linked to physiological responses, such as the release of the, neuromodulators, serotonin and oxytocin.

• Cognitive happiness : a reflective judgment about life satisfaction, how well things are going overall.

• Eudaemonia : the happiness of living a meaningful life, fulfilling personal values and our potential.

Cultural frameworks too shape how our happiness is experienced. Some Western cultures emphasise, the happiness of, individual achievement and personal pleasure. Eastern philosophies focus more on the happiness in harmony, balance, and collective well-being. Whereas Indigenous cultures link happiness to a connection with nature and community. Applying a single cultural lens, to our experience, overlooks additional ways to be happy.

The Risks of Idealising Happiness

An obsession with being happy can lead to 'toxic positivity.' This is the excessive and unrealistic belief that people should maintain a positive outlook at all times. Even during difficult and/or painful situations. This obsession can:

• Inhibit authentic emotional expression

• Create feelings of guilt or failure when other emotions arise

• Encourage superficial and/or partial experiences of happiness

  
  

Instead, recognising happiness as an emotion, without an inherent moral value, helps us. For instance, to use happiness as a resource to inspire personally meaningful action and other behaviour.

What can Happiness Inspire?

Feelings of happiness cab influence our behaviour. It can motivate us to build relationships, pursue goals, and contribute to others. In fact, Argyle suggests :

'...put people in a good mood and they seek more social activity, engage in acts of altruism, build resources and creativity (ibid p227&228.)'

However this outcome is not automatic. Happiness might also:

• Encourage avoidance of challenges or discomfort

• Lead to shallow experiences lacking depth or nuanced meaning

• Create social pressure to conform to narrow emotional norms

• Isolate us from the feelings and lives of others through overly focusing on ourselves.

  
  

Reflecting on what happiness inspires in each of us. May help align our happiness with the life we want and the person we want to be. For example, happiness is frequently immersive and often social. This joy can be infectious, spreading through shared experiences and relationships. If those are goals we wish to pursue.

The Science Behind Happiness

Research shows our genes play a role in our happiness levels. Our environment, culture, and personal choices also matter. Studies particularly highlight the association between happiness and :

• Social relationships are 'probably the greatest single cause of happiness and other well being' (ibid, p224.)

• Beliefs that future events can be controlled.

• Commitments to goals that can be achieved and are valued.

• Optimism, self esteem and purpose in life.

• Work : 'most people like their jobs...[they are] enjoyed more if it involves [using] a variety of skills, there is autonomy and the completion of meaningful tasks' (ibid, p224.)

So Is Happiness a Goal or a lifelong companion?

We can treat happiness as a goal to be achieved - something that magically arrives with success, relationships or money.

'In fact for most people, money has a very small effect on happiness, because their basic needs are satisfied already, and there are other much more important, causes of happiness, of which they are not aware.' - Argyle, 2001, p222.

Treating happiness as a goal can also create pressure and disappointment when it feels out of reach. It risks turning happiness into a fetishised ideal, where only some emotions count and others are dismissed.

Alternatively, happiness can be seen as a lifelong companion. A way of being happy that accepts life's ups and downs. This approach accepts that happiness is complex. Often mixed with sadness or frustration. Recognising that a normally happy life will also include experiences of loss, pain, betrayal, mistakes and failure.

In sum, I suggest, happiness is a complex experience shaped by our biology, culture, and its personal meaning. So rather than chasing an idealised version of happiness, embracing its complexity may allow us to live more authentically and fully. Reflecting on what happiness means to us, how it fits with our values, and how we can cultivate it in ways that also support our wider well-being.

Reference

Argyle, M. (2001). The Psychology of Happiness (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315812212

NB. I have also collated a selection of helpful resources on emotions CLICK HERE