Happiness : A goal to achieve or a lifelong companion?

Fireworks explode like flashes of shared happiness.

Happiness can feel like a destination, a prize to win. But is happiness a goal to reach or a lifelong companion? I suggest answering this question, requires looking beyond simple definitions, exploring its cultural meanings, and psychological underpinnings. As such, this blog unpacks happiness and suggests additional relationships we could have with this emotion.

The Many Faces of Happiness

Happiness is not a single, universal experience. The experience of happiness varies between individuals. Some see happiness as a fleeting emotion, a moment of joy or pleasure. Others view it as a deeper, more enduring, state connected to life's meaning and purpose. No single definition captures what happiness means for everyone.

• Emotional happiness : feelings like joy, contentment, or satisfaction. Often linked to physiological responses such as the release of the, neuromodulators, serotonin and oxytocin.

• Cognitive happiness : a reflective judgment about life satisfaction, how well things are going overall.

• Eudaemonia : the happiness of living a meaningful life, fulfilling personal values and our potential.

Cultural frameworks too shape how our happiness is understood. Some Western cultures emphasise, the happiness of, individual achievement and personal pleasure. Eastern philosophies might focus more on the happiness in harmony, balance, and collective well-being. Whereas Indigenous cultures may link happiness to a connection with nature and community. Applying a single cultural lens to our experience overlooks additional ways to be happy.

The Risks of Idealising Happiness

An obsession with being happy can lead to a 'toxic positivity,' The excessive and unrealistic belief that people should maintain a positive outlook at all times, even during difficult or painful situations. This can:

• Inhibit authentic emotional expression

• Create feelings of guilt or failure when other emotions arise

• Encourage superficial or partial experiences of happiness

  
  

What's more, recognising happiness as an emotion without an inherent moral value helps us. For example, to use happiness as a resource to inspire personally meaningful action.

What can Happiness Inspire?

Happiness influences our behaviour. It can motivate us to build relationships, pursue goals, and contribute to others. In fact, Argyle suggests :

'put people in a good mood and they seek more social activity, engage in acts of altruism, build resources and creativity (ibid p227&228.)'

However I don't think this outcome is automatic, in my experience, happiness might also:

• Encourage avoidance of challenges or discomfort

• Lead to shallow experiences lacking depth or nuanced meaning

• Create social pressure to conform to narrow emotional norms

• Isolate us from the feelings and lives of others through overly focusing on ourselves.

  
  

Reflecting on what happiness inspires in each of us. May help align our happiness with the life we want and the person we want to be. For example, happiness is frequently immersive and often social. This joy can be infectious, spreading through shared experiences and relationships.

The Science Behind Happiness

Research shows our genes play a role in our baseline happiness levels. Moreover, our environment, culture, and personal choices also matter. In particular, studies highlight the association between happiness and the following factors :

• Social relationships are 'probably the greatest single cause of happiness and other well being' (ibid, p224.)

• Beliefs that future events can be controlled, optimism, self esteem and purpose in life.

• Commitments to goals that can be achieved and are valued.

• 'Most people like their jobs...it is enjoyed more if it involves a variety of skills, there is autonomy and the completion of meaningful tasks' (ibid, p224.)

So Is Happiness a Goal or a lifelong companion?

We can treat happiness as a goal to be achieved - something that automatically arrives with enough success, relationships or material gain.

''In fact for most people, money has a very small effect on happiness, because their basic needs are satisfied already, and there are other much more important, causes of happiness, of which they are not aware.' - Argyle, 2001, p222.

Treating happiness as a goal can also create pressure and disappointment when it feels out of reach. It risks turning happiness into a fetishised ideal, where only some emotions count and others are dismissed.

Alternatively, happiness can be seen as a lifelong companion. A way of being that includes life's ups and downs. This view accepts that happiness is complex, sometimes mixed with sadness or frustration. Recognising that a normally happy life will, in all probability, also include loss, pain, betrayal, mistakes and failure.

In sum, I think, happiness is neither a fixed goal nor a simple companion. It is a complex experience shaped by our biology, culture, and its personal meaning. So rather than chasing an idealised version of happiness, embracing its complexity can allow us to live more authentically and fully. We may do this by reflecting on what happiness means to us, how it fits with our values, and how we can cultivate it in ways that also support our wider well-being.

Reference

Argyle, M. (2001). The Psychology of Happiness (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315812212

NB. I have also collated a selection of helpful resources on emotions CLICK HERE