Happiness : A Goal to Achieve or a lifelong companion?

Fireworks explode, illuminating, like flashes of shared happiness.

Happiness can feel like a destination, a prize to win. But is happiness a goal to reach or a lifelong companion? I suggest to answer this question, requires looking beyond simple definitions, exploring its cultural meanings, and psychological underpinnings. This blog unpacks happiness and suggests additional relationships we could have with this emotion.

The Many Faces of Happiness

Happiness is not a single, universal experience. The experience of happiness varies between individuals and cultures. Some see happiness as a fleeting emotion, a moment of joy or pleasure. Others view it as a deeper, more enduring, state connected to life's meaning and purpose. No single definition or approach captures what happiness means for everyone. Three possibilities are outlined here :

• Emotional happiness : feelings like joy, contentment, or satisfaction. It is often linked to physiological responses such as the release of, neuromodulators, serotonin and oxytocin.

• Cognitive happiness : a reflective judgment about life satisfaction, how well things are going overall.

• Eudaemonia : refers to the happiness of living a meaningful life, fulfilling personal values and our potential.

Cultural Perspectives on Happiness

Cultural frameworks too can shape how our happiness is understood and expressed. For example:

• In some Western cultures, happiness often emphasizes individual achievement and personal pleasure.

• Eastern philosophies might focus more on harmony, balance, and collective well-being.

• Whereas Indigenous cultures may link happiness to connection with nature and community.

  
  

Applying a single cultural lens, to happiness, limits our understanding and overlooks the physiological and emotional realities shared across humanity.

The Risks of Idealising Happiness

An obsession with happiness can also lead to toxic positivity, where people feel pressured to appear happy all the time. This can:

• Inhibit authentic emotional expression

• Create feelings of guilt or failure when other emotions arise

• Encourage superficial or partial experiences of happiness

  
  

Recognising happiness as an emotion without inherent moral value helps us, instead, to use it as a resource. As such, happiness can both inspire growth and connection and/or lead to denial and isolation.

What Does Happiness Inspire or Inhibit?

Happiness influences our behaviour. It can motivate us to build relationships, pursue goals, and contribute to others. 'Put people in a good mood and they seek more social activity, engage in acts of altruism, build resources and creativity (ibid p227&228.)' But excessive or unrealistic expectations of happiness might:

• Encourage avoidance of challenges or discomfort

• Lead to shallow experiences lacking depth or meaning

• Create social pressure to conform to narrow emotional norms

• Isolate us from the feelings and lives of others.

  
  

Reflecting on what happiness inspires or inhibits in each of us. May help align our happiness with the life we want and the person we want to be. Happiness is frequently immersive and often social. This joy can be infectious, spreading through shared experiences and relationships. This social dimension highlights the importance of connection in emotional well-being.

The Science Behind Happiness

Research shows genetics play a role in baseline happiness levels. Moreover, our environment, culture, and personal choices also matter. Studies particularly highlight:

• Social relationships 'probably the greatest single cause of happiness and other well being' (ibid, p224.)

• Beliefs that future events can be controlled, optimism, self esteem and purpose in life.

• Commitments to goals that can be achieved and are valued.

• 'Most people like their jobs...it is enjoyed more if it involves a variety of skills, there is autonomy and the completion of meaningful tasks' (ibid, p224.)

• Gender differences in how happiness is experienced and expressed

  
  

Understanding these factors can guide more realistic and compassionate approaches to happiness for each of us.

So Is Happiness a Goal or a lifelong companion?

We can treat happiness as a goal to be achieved—something that automatically arrives when we have enough success, relationships or material gain.

''In fact for most people money has a very small effect on happiness, because their basic needs are satisfied already, and there are other much more important, causes of happiness, of which they are not aware.' - Argyle, 2001, p222.

Treating happiness as a goal can also create pressure and disappointment when it feels out of reach. It risks turning happiness into a fetishised ideal, where only some emotions count and others are dismissed.

Alternatively, happiness can be seen as a lifelong companion to embrace, a way of being that includes life's ups and downs. This view accepts that happiness is complex, sometimes mixed with sadness or frustration. That all emotional experiences are personal and subjective. Recognising that a normally happy life will, in all probability, include loss, pain, betrayal, mistakes and failure.

In sum, happiness is neither a fixed goal nor a simple state. It is a multifaceted experience shaped by biology, culture, and personal meaning. Instead of chasing an idealised version of happiness, embracing its complexity can allow us to live more authentically and fully. We may do this by reflecting on what happiness means to us, how it fits with our values, and how we can cultivate it in ways that also support our well-being.

Reference

Argyle, M. (2001). The Psychology of Happiness (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315812212

NB. I have also collated a selection of helpful resources on emotions CLICK HERE